Are You Socially Difficult?
Be less critical.
Some of the people tend to constantly criticize both themselves and those around them. They can avoid social interaction because they are on the one hand afraid of being judged by others, and on the other hand (ironically) themselves extremely judgmental toward others. In order to become a more social person, it is important to accept that everybody, no matter how they may seem on the outside, has both positive and negative qualities.
Don’t over-analyze your interactions.
Over-thinking is usually what prevents people from enjoying social interaction. While it may seem difficult, it is important to break the habits of anticipating what social interactions will be like before they happen, and of over-analyzing them once they are over. Rather than focusing on what may go wrong or how you may embarrass yourself, approach every new social interaction with a clean slate and a positive attitude.
Realize that you’re not that big of a deal.
Interestingly, shy people who feel invisible and unwanted also tend to feel like they are constantly under a spotlight, being watched and criticized by others. This strange paradox of shyness is what prevents people from feeling comfortable being themselves in front of others. This doesn’t mean that you should feel like an unimportant person, but rather, that you should acknowledge that you are your own worst critic. Remember that people are so caught up in their own lives and interactions that they have little time to notice if you embarrass yourself or say something stupid.
Just like any other skill, being sociable requires consistency and practice in order to master. This means you will have to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to interact with other people on a regular basis. Get in the habit of striking up casual conversations with the people you meet on a daily basis, including bank tellers, baristas, and cashiers.
Even if you don’t feel positive all of the time, you should at least act positive when talking to other people. For example, if somebody asks you to tell them about your life, focus on sharing the positive qualities of your life rather than complaining about the negative ones.
Be fully engaged.
Show interest in others, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation. When you are talking to somebody, listen to what they are saying rather than worrying about what you should be saying.
If you are constantly waiting around for people to call you or invite you places, then you are wasting your life. Relationships are built upon a mutual effort; if you want to show people that you value their friendship, you will have to reach out to them and initiate opportunities to spend time with them.